Have you ever wondered why your spouse doesn’t seem to respond to your gestures of love? This series of short articles will help put you on the green in terms of understanding the unseen barriers blocking your efforts to bring more fulfillment to your spouse’s life. The theme and excerpts are from Gary Chapman’s “The 5 Love Languages.”
Versailles 1989: photo by Challen Yee
Love Language #2: Quality Time
What good are all the things if we don’t spend time to enjoy each other?
Quality Time means giving someone your undivided attention, your focused attention.
Quality Time often requires spending time together doing things you would like to do “if you had the time.”
Quality conversation is another key aspect of Quality Time.
In quality time conversations, a spouse may not be so much interested in advice as much as they desire to be understood.
- Maintain eye contact
- Focus. Do not multi-task. You can multi-task but you cannot multi-focus.
- Listen for feelings
- Observe body language for emotions.
- Refuse to interrupt.
Regarding activities, looking at the past may be an indicator of the future. Have you willingly done something with your spouse before you got married that you wouldn’t do now?
You may need to select one or two of those activities that are not on your own A-list, but are clearly important to your spouse. It’s a selfless way for you to know your spouse better through their hobby, activity, or other passion.
Wouldn’t you enjoy it if they did that for you?
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I’ll see you… on the next page, we’ll continue this series.
