Gary Chapman, the author of “The 5 Love Languages” talks about how each of us has an “emotional love tank.” He compares running low on your love tank to running your car without adequate oil.
A marriage can be stuck in a hole for many years simply because these important concepts are overlooked, ignored, or deemphasized. How full are your love tanks?
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Love Language #3: Receiving Gifts
“Gifts are a visual symbol of love … individuals have differing attitudes … [for example] some never take the wedding ring off after the wedding … other’s don’t even wear a wedding band.”
While you may have to alter your attitude about money, you can still be creative in your gift giving, which can also include the presence of your self at important times in your spouse’s life.
Stashing money away in financial instruments may be one way of investing and using a small portion to make sure your spouse’s love tank is full will be a wise investment that pays important dividends in the long run.
Consider the surprise gift of a rose, for the one who loves flowers, it can still be immensely appreciated even when you have a garden full of roses already.
At the end of the chapter, Chapman lists several suggestions for creative approaches to gift giving. One I thought was fun, especially since I like reading, is buy a book that your spouse would like to read and then commit to reading it yourself. After your spouse reads it, agree to have a discussion. Just make sure the subject is something your spouse thinks is useful or fun.
“Gifts do not need to be expensive, nor must they be given weekly. But for some individuals, [a thoughtful gift’s] worth has nothing to do with monetary value and everything to do with love.”
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I’ll see you… on the next page, will cover Love Language #4: Acts of Service.
