Writer’s note: About a year ago, I began my trek into creating this blog by sharing some thoughts about a high school friend who chose to end his life, now over ten years ago. As fate would have it, his high school class (1979) is having their reunion coming up next month and I was asked to contribute a few words to honor his memory.
Originally I had written these few paragraphs as part of last week’s article on “Which 10,000 kicks” but felt it was better for both articles to separate the ideas and emphasize this message on its own.
Before I begin, there are many factors that may drive someone to suicide or suicidal thoughts, and I understand what I am writing here is only addressing one dimension.
There are times when the wheels stop turning. Image source: the nation.com
A serious and reassuring word about integrity and failure
In our crazy lives, we may discover what our authentic purposes are, or a need for redirection, only after we’ve come to the end of our conscious understandings. When after we let ourselves be burned up and burned out by circumstances out of our control, we sometimes may be brought or driven to the point of suicide or suicidal thoughts. Isolation and injured pride may, with insidiousness, push us cross those lines.
I do not state suicide lightly because I’ve lost some friends in the past to suicide so I am not going to be glib here. If your identity (or someone you know) gets too tied up with the success of your business and it does not meet your expectations, the loss of control may have dire consequences unless you maintain a healthy perspective. Remember, failure is just an event, it is not who you are.
In this extreme case, through a process of submitting, surrendering, and admitting powerlessness (all have connotations of personal strength in the case)- we finally become open to leaving the solution to the power greater than ourselves if you have a mind for seeking. If you happen to be an athiest, then maybe you’re just tapping an area of your mind that is a new frontier. If you are a person of faith, then you are humbled before the your higher power, to God.
The point is, you open yourself to the solution that is not from your beaten, abused and destructive self thoughts. Engage in a process that allows greater spiritual/conscious growth, this way balance ought to be achieved by avoiding the mental abyss and not suffering with the self flagellation, self-pity, guilt or shame which are not part of your authentic self. Those damaging thoughts are not coming from the real you!
The strongest revelations and guidance may very well occur then if you can take that next step.
I strongly encourage you to find someone you trust to take that walk with you without judging you.
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If you’d like to send me and email, please do at: challenyee@challenyee.com
I’ll see you… on the next page
Challen Yee
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