Fatherhood in a Technological World – Message #33
Humility is not weakness, no need to be afraid of it as a father
Got it?
As in any endeavor where you are fully committed, you will have to learn how to be at peace with your imperfections and finite knowledge in dealing with the continuous duty of being a parent and a leader in your family.
Being a father and a husband is blending confidence and an ability to problem solve, knowing that you will learn more from your weaknesses than your strengths.
Early in life, in school or in your career, you may have had the fortune of being a respected leader, a great student or an advisor. Yet, in the professional domain, you often have the luxury of keeping a private side to your life that most others cannot see or at least certainly not in an intimate level.
The reality of married life with children is that your wife and your children have the opportunity to see your unvarnished day to day behavior, usually with a much different level of access and less inhibition to be critical. You can’t fire them and they know it and it’s something you want to reinforce, the principle that you are not going to runaway from the problems you face as a father.
Children especially, also have an innate trust in you, assuming that you were responsible when they were young, and so they, as they get older, become aware of any inconsistencies between what you say and what you do. It’s easy for them to notice if you are being hypocritical in any way, even if you are not aware or intending to be.
It’s almost like God put those kids there to help remind you that you haven’t finished growing up and that you are accountable for what you say and what you do.
If you insist they adhere to certain rules, it would behoove you to really understand the reasons why and be able to explain. You may need to explain time and time again, but that’s one of the duties of being a parent. Humbling yourself can mean admitting you do not know something and then becoming determined to find out so that you in turn can help your children understand better.
Seeking the advice of a mentor or more experienced parent is always a good idea and another reason to be humble – to admit you need some words of advice from another parent, some one you trust.
And so it’s with respect and humility that you should take the occasional criticism from your children and understand that your perception of given situation is only your perspective and not the only perspective. You have a broad and experienced perspective, but you do not have a complete perspective on any situation. Being aware of this is more important as children get into elementary school and they begin to develop a greater sense of independence.
Being humble and admitting mistakes is in no way a detraction from your ability to lead and be the parent. No matter how many mistakes you’ve made, you still have the hard earned experience of your many more years of life and accomplishments. It helps to remember, that you are teaching your children to become adults, even though they still look and often act like rug-rats!
Humility comes in various shapes and forms. It may be you have to admit you do not know something or it could mean you need to apologize for being wrong, doing something wrong, or hurting another although you did not intend to.
If you exhibit true humility, that’s an example that your children will benefit from greatly as they will become more balanced and emotionally intelligent adults.
CY
P.S. In the video, I go into yet another point and the is, rather than sticking to a dogmatic way of teaching, it is best to adjust your teaching techniques based on your child’s particular personality and talents in order to get the most out of helping them grow and develop. It takes humility to acknowledge you’re heading in the wrong direction and to make a course adjustment rather than running your ship aground.
About Fatherhood in a Technological World
Fathers of young children in today’s modern society are facing unprecedented challenges with the wave of technology allowing ever easier access to the internet. The effect on your children has and will have a great influence on their growth. As a parent, you may be feeling the anxiety of having to confront the challenges of being at the end of the rail of the powerful forces driving technology into the laps and hands of your children.
Your work is cut out for you are a father. Even though popular culture doesn’t do well to herald the value of the leadership role of men in the form of fathers, let me tell you right now, being a father in this time and age has never been more important.
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