Author’s note: If you are new to my blog and are interested in reading the 23.xx series, please first read the 23.01 through 23.09 in order to best get the idea of what I am attempting to communicate. They are built like chapters in a book, one building on the previous one. Consider the points made in each article to help you understand where I am coming from in hopes I can make a connection with you on your spiritual journey.
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What does “walking with the Lord” mean?
One aspect the Christian life is how God delivers a person from difficulties. This process often occurs repeatedly over time before a person, through cumulative experiences that lead to awareness, has a much fuller sense of what ‘walking with the Lord’ means. Sometimes those spiritual life events come with a tremor and sometimes they can come as a shock.
Last year I was made starkly aware, convicted by the Holy Spirit, that I was not living my life in accordance with how my Lord and Savior would like me to living my life. How many years go by when a shock occurs can be few or many.
What I experienced was an awakening that caused me to view my past spiritual life as terribly clouded, not knowing how much I had the shutters pulled down between me and God.
Before, my deceiving heart was willing to go along with worldly lusts rather than by God’s direction (and I don’t expect life without further trials). Not to deflect any personal responsibility for my errors, part of the problem was in my past experience attending church, where in some congregations, there has been a clear emphasis on Jesus Christ as Savior, but not so much as Lord.
Does it happen to be that In the United States, or in modern society in general, people object to being considered a “servant” due to the slave connotations or is it because when we think of “Lords” we imagine aloof aristocrats of a ruling class? This can be a stumbling block. Unfortunately, the pride that comes from being independent from THE Lord causes us to decay in a state of self-righteousness.
That is who Jesus Christ is for Christians, He is not only our Savior, but also our Lord.
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THE SET UP
Looking back, the period directly before my recent enlightenment was centered around the tyrannical imposition of the vaccine mandate when the freedom of choosing what to inject into your body was legally linked to religious beliefs.
The ability to justify oneself as a bonafide religious person who doesn’t agree with getting the vaccine du jour became the task at hand. This began a review process shrouded in mystery and punctuated with unexpected legal documents.
It would have been easy for most people to get a vaccine to save their jobs. In other words, without a fight, give up one liberty (deciding how to safeguard ones health) to restore another liberty (to earn a living) the government threatened to take away.
I never had to justify myself as a devotee to my faith until this discriminatory action was made possible through corporations being enabled to set aside their liberty-preserving convictions. The result was, and maybe you shared this experience, I never felt so directly discriminated against and marginalized in my whole life.
With the mandate, the government succeeded in defeating all the anti-discrimination and anti-marginalization training that they force the corporate world to impose on their employees.
To make a difficult story short, I was able to retain my job, not only because I had “proved” I was a Christian but because I was also the only one in my department who was still approved to work from home.
My wife and I agreed, before I submitted my application for religious exemption, that we would suffer the loss of my job’s income to maintain our health integrity. Even though I am the only income earner supporting my family we had the faith that we would survive even though we faced the then-current circumstances that every company with over 100 employees would shun me like I was a leper.
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DELIVERED… AGAIN!
That episode ended in a miraculous discovery of what was to me a dream job in the engineering field. When I saw the posting, my eyes could not believe it. It was as though the qualification and features were written just for me. I felt immediately, I would apply for this position. Shortly after, I would proceed to apply without reservation. After a series of interviews I was awarded the position and hit the ground running.
There’s a good chance I would have missed this opportunity had the prior 3 months not been engrossed in turmoil. Yet in a turning around of conditions, God provided a superior job, a great group of team members, all working remotely, and a compensation which addressed a financial concern although my wife and I had no immediate solution beforehand.
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DESPONDENCY RESURFACES
Months later, after the rush of completing of my first exciting project at my new job, when my life quieted down, I began to be affected by a lack of satisfaction in personal things that I had thought were important. These things were an issue with me before the job crisis and had returned as the burden upon my shoulders.
I’m not going into personal details now, it would suffice to write, at nearly 60 years old, outwardly successful, inwardly uncertain and confused, I was breaking down inside with emptiness and unfulfillment. I felt I could not approach anyone with my troubles.
Before I drifted into a more dangerous path, or just the squandered more of my life energy, I came to a critical realization: God was the remaining solution.
I began a dedicated and methodical reading of the Bible starting with the Gospel of John.
Of the four Gospels, the Gospel of John was written for “the wretched man” and that sounded good because that was me. I had heard plenty of people say they’ve read through the Bible multiple times and/or read with devotion every day, but for whatever self-righteous reasons, I never did so. This was the time to call on this neglected life insurance policy.
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DELIVERED … AGAIN! This time was different
Recalling the old Three Kingdom’s search of the warriors seeking a worthy master, I was reawakened to the necessary devotion and discipline of honoring the one who had been delivering me from so many bad situations in my life, including a non-exhaustive list of adversities such as: near fatal accidents, destructive relationships, and now this recent company employee crisis and financial relief.
Through many situations God had delivered me and although I had given thanks to God, I was not humbled enough to see I needed to change in a critical area. It was not God I was placing as my Master, my Lord. It was not God whom I worshipped and place central to my life.
Reading the Bible, the inspired Word of God, truly became like living water. With each day, I recognized a growing sense of peace and control over my weaknesses and my thought life. Reciting passage of Scripture instead of ruminating on failure or disappointments began spiritual healing.
Jesus Christ has been the worthy master whom I have been seeking surrogates for all my life. Those surrogates have come in every category from my managers, my friends, girlfriends, the navy, cars, property, money, wealth, job, business mentors, philosophers, war heroes, radio personalities, my submarine, pastors, teachers, family, my country, my world, my children, my wife, and my own desires. It’s important to say, many in this long list are important, but none shall come before the Lord.
God is not only crucial, but indispensable and the only entity worthy of worship.
After so much pain and discontent, being unable to find satisfaction in any of my key interests in life, I was convicted. I was finally convicted of being the kind of person I never considered myself to be: a self-righteous, idolater, and more. I was ignorant of the laws I ought to have understood as a Christian. I needed to apply that which I had read many times but was blind to take it to heart.
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THE ESSENTIAL DELIVERY
Because of my sinful nature, I was destined for eternal damnation. Yet even though I thought myself a Christian, I did not begin to fathom the gravity of my own sin, on one hand, and on the other, the unspeakably wonderful gift of God’s Grace. I did not begin to perceive the majesty and power, the holiness and righteousness of God.
Have you?
Now it is time to strive to give my life to Him in service in all things and at all times.
Whether this was the process of Sanctification or not, looking back, I shudder to think I was risking being one of those who would be saying at the outskirts of heaven “Lord, Lord, didn’t I [do this or that] in your Name.” And the Lord would say, “I did not know you.”
It’s easy to imagine I had both feet on a banana peel having not recognized earlier what I know now.
My life and my inner thoughts as a believer of Lordship of Christ, the Son of God, was on the wrong track and I needed to be humbled to see that. I needed to be spiritually dragged across the pathetic foundation of worldly produced beliefs to know I have been festering in my own foolishness, unwilling to offer complete surrender to my Lord, the only true and worthy master.
I finally realized God has been patiently pursuing and rescuing, delivering me time, and time, and time again until I got the message. The Creator of the universe and humankind with His long suffering love has set out to redeem the repentant sinners who will accept His amazing Grace by trusting in the Lord and Savior.
A combination of realizing I was not leading a life with respect to my Lord Jesus Christ and going on a steady diet of reading the Bible, typically multiple times a day, and learning to live a life of prayer has brought about a vital change in my mind and perspective, with it a peace and clarity I have not known before.
I am looking forward to writing more about the path to Salvation and Sanctification, my experiences as a repentant sinner and servant of the Lord Jesus Christ.
CKY
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